10 May

Let’s Talk About Sleep

Wordle21Sleep is a powerful thing.  If it is restful and restorative we wake up feeling like we can conquer the world, or at least the busy day ahead of us. At times when we don’t get enough or we have poor quality sleep, we can feel exhausted and less confident about our own abilities.  The day seems to drag on and all we can think about is crawling under the covers at the end of our day.

There are a number of things that can impact the quality of our sleep. A busy mind, menopause and stress are the top three that people often talk to their counsellors about.

Perimenopause or menopause is something that is whispered about in the lunch room.  The change in hormone levels can bring hot flashes, irritability, anxiety and insomnia.  Interrupted sleep at this time in a woman’s life is very common.  Author Sheryl Kraft, Is Menopause Playing Havoc With Your Sleep? addresses the fact that there is no one size fits all solution. We are all uniquely different and trying different solutions will help you have a more restful night.  Suggestions she makes are to avoid caffeine after 2:00 p.m, keep your bedroom dark, incoporate some exercise in your day and eat a high carbohydrate snack such as a whole grain cracker with a small amount of healthy protein before bed.

If after trying a few of these changes you do no find success you may wish to speak to a naturopathic doctor and they will listen to your specific concerns and will tailor a plan just for you.  Many benefit plans now cover naturopathic appointments.

A busy mind is common in menopause and also when under stress.  In an article from Pick the Brain they provide 5 Strategies to Empty Your Mind Before Bed.  Keeping a notebook beside your bed can become a nighttime ritual that will help you prepare for your new day tomorrow but also to free yourself from the perpetual “to do” list.  Write down what is on your mind whether it is your grocery list or the things that might be bothering you. Think about them and then release them for the day and you can pick them up again the next day if you need to.

In 12 Ways to Shut Off Your Brain Before Bedtime they suggest practicing relaxation exercises.  Visualization exercises, meditation or a short evening yoga practice can help set the stage for sleep.  If stress if still a barrier to catching the rest you need, then seeing a counsellor to help explore what the issues further and create a plan together.

Try making the last thought before bed one thing you are grateful for from your day.  Set your intention to be a positive one for the next day.

Tools to Help Sleep

Yoga Nidra for Sleep, A 22 Minute guided meditation for sleep.

Bedtime Yoga for Deep Sleep,  6:36 minutes of bedtime yoga flow that can done on your bed.

Yoga for Better Sleep, 10 minute yoga routine for better sleep.

Into Sleep, A 10 minute guided meditation from Quiet Mind Cafe to promote a deep restorative sleep

Free Guided Meditations from UCLA Health, Try the mindful body scan

Naturopaths in Niagara

Dr. Stephen Tripodi, ND  Optimal Wellness Niagara

Dr. Jane Lauermeier, 905-935-6460

Dr. Laura Imola, WIN Health Solutions

Dr. Charlene Kush, Niagara’s Elite Wellness Spa

02 May

Believe in the positive

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Every day we make choices on how we are going to respond to things.  It can be a change at work, something someone said or just a fleeting thought.  We decide whether to think positively or negatively.  Sometimes when we are anxious or feeling down our minds go to the negative thought more readily.

In counselling we look at the concept that for every negative thought there is a positive one.  What would the outcome be if we chose to believe in possibilities and opportunities?  When we close the door on a negative thought we open the door to options.  In a Huff Post article they took a look at the science behind positive thinking.  A negative thought can take over your life but positive thoughts create positive emotions such as joy and contentment.  This sounds like a much better option.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to see Dr. Wayne Dyer speak.  His positive energy and motivation is something I will never forget as it seemed to linger with me for weeks after seeing him.  His book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life is still a mainstay on my recommended reading list.  He asked audience members to think about their dreams and aspirations and what was holding them back.  One audience member said they wanted to start their own business but she couldn’t do so for financial reasons.  His response was to suggest that the barrier was a mental construct, a barrier that stopped her from achieving her dream.  What if she were to say “I am going to start a business” and just believed in the possibility?  Two ways of thinking….one a dead end with the only option being failure and the other with the power of possibility.

If you aren’t sure where to start, take a minute from your day and think about something that didn’t go well or made you think negatively.  Stop and think about what the alternative positive  thought might be and write it down.  Do this every day for a week and take a look at your list at the end of the week.  Was this hard or did it start to come easier as the week went on? Keep a note book by your bed or jot it down on your phone.  The idea is that your brain will start to welcome the changes in thinking and you will find yourself making room for the positive and what a wonderful way to believe that things can be different.

20 Mar

Do you experience Life Envy? A social media dilema.

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Now life envy, this isn’t a topic I would have thought of all  on my own but it is certainly a hot topic on the internet and it’s worth talking about.  We live in a world where social media is entirely pervasive.  It has taken the expression of “Keeping up with the Jones” to a whole new level.  Everyone is happy, life is amazing and their lives are so much better than ours. On our quick morning click to Facebook we can start our day filled with life envy.  As the above quote says, “Don’t Compare Your Inside to Someone Else’s Outside.”  Our lives are not as transparent as we’d like our social media friends to believe.

Mind Body Green examines this phenomenon in Does Facebook Give You Life Envy?    They suggests that people only post what they want us to see.  Their post can be genuine or they can be posting about the life they want.  Let’s face it we don’t post about the cat throwing up a furball all over our purse we left on the hall floor or the the fact that we got stranded in the bathroom with no toilet paper.  Life is not always that exciting in fact it can be pretty boring so when people share they are usually sharing the good stuff.

Summing it up perfectly is Huffington Post writer Lisa Earle McLeod, with How to Get Over Facebook Envy.

Facebook envy is a condition that causes you to see one single fabulous out of context moment of someone else’s life and compare their one great moment against the totality of your own life.

That’s just it it is a moment not their life.

An article on Headspace suggests that There’s an antidote for life-envy.  Reduce the time you spend on social media sites and use that time to do something you enjoy.  Talking about it with others can help you put it in perspective.  It can be nice to realize you are not the only one who notices a mood shift after reading about all the great things your friends are doing with their lives.

So while envy is a natural reaction you can combat it with positive thoughts and gratitude. Unplug and take time to live your own life doing the things you love with the people that matter to you.

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28 Feb

What Are You Thinking? Change your Thoughts

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Our minds are pretty powerful tools that can help us or sometimes be a barrier to our success.  Try some of these simple changes when a negative thought comes your way.  Instead of giving up, think about the strategies you have learned in counselling and put them into practice.  If you haven’t been to see a counsellor lately then maybe it is time for a mental health tune up.  Call us at Lidkea Stob and Associates, 905-684-5050 for an appointment .

20 Feb

Anxiety, there’s an app for that!

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I remember going to a mindfulness workshop and hearing the presenter say that we can never get rid of a client’s anxiety.   The truth is that we all live with a healthy level of anxiety that keeps us on our toes.  The presenter explained that if a bear were chasing us we should feel somewhat anxious.  That makes sense, of course I would be anxious and fearful and that can help us in situations where the response is warranted.  However, at some point we may have a time where anxiety is a big part of our daily life.

In truth anxiety is likely the number one reason people come to see a counsellor. People come in feeling tired, overwhelmed and want immediate relief.  Of course as counsellors we are happy to help but unfortunately we don’t have super powers. To  reduce anxiety means a commitment to yourself.  That includes practicing strategies and doing a bit of homework between sessions.

There’s An App for That

We may not all be techno savvy but if you carry a smart phone and have access to the internet using these tools can be fun, easy and very beneficial.   There are apps for your iPhone or Android device that help you take your strategies to go. These apps are particularly helpful if you are working with a counsellor and want to practice strategies between sessions. Podcasts are another fantastic way to increase your learning, implement strategies and maybe even relax for a 10 or 15  minutes while you listen.

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Suggested Apps:

MindShift– A collaborative project from Anxiety BC, BC Children’s Hospital, RBC Children’s Mental Health, Provincial Health Services Authority.  This app is geared to teens and young adults and includes strategies and tools to tackle things such as perfectionism, test anxiety, worry, conflict and social anxiety.  (Free)

Headspace- Treat Your Head Right.  They consider themselves a gym membership for the mind.  There is a free app and foundation course but to access additional courses and their series on things such as health and relationships there is monthly subscription fee.  ($7.95-$12.95 per month)   If you like this site then take a look at Andy Puddicome’s Ted Talk, All it takes is 10 mindful minutes.

Worry Box- Anxiety Self Help- For Android (Free) Write down your worries and put them in a worry box.  Apple in iTunes (Free)

If you are looking to be a bit more mindful then an article by Mindful give us a list of Free Mindfulness Apps Worthy of Your Attention

If meditation is what you are looking for then take a look at Healthline for The Best Meditation iPhone and Android Apps of the Year.

Podcasts

Anxiety Slayer– they provide a weekly podcast to your inbox. The podcast topics include When we fear our repetitive thoughts, Tips for working for a mental health care professional and 5 Quick and easy ways to calm down when you feel anxious.

Anxiety Guru– There are a number of free podcasts available like You Are Not Alone  and there is also a paid membership available if you want access to additional materials

A Quiet Mind by Robert Jackson, podcasts and apps to promote happiness, peace and well being.

Motivation to Move by Scott Smith, A very energetic, motivational speaker who has one of the most popular daily motivation program.   His podcasts are about staying positive, reducing stress and focusing on how to get what makes you happy. Examples of his podcast topics are Are You Too Busy To Live Your Life and Good Stress. Bad Stress.

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