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Author Archives: Kimberley Gunning

17 Dec

Enjoying the Holidays

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season brings excitement and sometimes dread all at the same time. There are parties to go to or not go to, shopping, decorating, spending time with friends and family….oh and unrealistic expectations!  Yes, during the holiday season we can set ourselves up for failure by thinking we should be able to perform incredible feats in a single bound.  So instead of feeling sick, resentful and exhausted during this happy season why not create a plan for success?!  Plan to enjoy the holiday season.

Set Obtainable Goals

Can you really be in 3 places at once?  Remember every time you say yes to something it means saying no to something else. Don’t over schedule yourself or your family.  Take a look at what needs to be done and the time that you have to do it in.  Establish priorities and let go of the extras.  That last batch of cookies is less important than getting a full night’s sleep.

Take a break

This likely sounds counterintuitive when your to do list and calendar is full, but self care means stopping and taking some time for you.  Taking a break allows you to replenish your energy.  It is important to your health and wellness.  Carve out an hour during your day and curl up with a book or even take a short nap to help refresh.

Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations

When we have unrealistic expectations of others and sometimes even ourselves we can feel letdown.  Taking the pressure off yourself to perform incredible feats can be a huge relief.  By letting go of these expectations we open up our holiday to possibilities. An article from John Hopkins recommends being mindful of what is important to you during the holidays.

Make Healthy Choices

As tasty as those sugar cookies or glass of wine might be they can actually drain our energy and create a bit of a boomerang effect with our mood.  For those of us who love food we have to strategize on how to avoid too much sugar during the holidays.  Here are a few good tips from blogger Stephanie Stiavetti from The Culinary Life to help. It’s not about depriving yourself….as  they always say, anything in moderation.

Stick to your budget

Thoughtful gifts don’t need to be expensive.  Do it yourself essential oil roller balls or bath bombs can be used for sore muscles, to uplift mood or as help for a pounding head. Who wouldn’t love a low maintenance mason jar terrarium you made yourself!? Maybe a gift certificate for a nice dinner at your house or a few hours of babysitting to help a new mom have a break.  Be creative but don’t break the bank!  We have listed lots of great DIY ideas on our Holiday Pinterest board to get you started.

Spend time with the people you enjoy being with

We can spend so much time trying to fit everyone in but sometimes the people that give us the most joy can get left out.  The friend who you’ve been trying to catch up with, your partner who you never seem to have couple time with, or your neighbour who makes you smile with their amazing life stories.  Choose who you spend time with wisely and give yourself permission to limit the activities that don’t make you happy. Incorporate these strategies and you should be well on your way to thriving this holiday!

Resources

Thriving During the Holidays by Niki Hall

Winter floral arranging Workshops, The Watering Can, Vineland https://www.thewateringcan.ca/shop/workshops

Sugar Addiction: Avoiding Sugar During The Holidays, The Culinary Life https://www.theculinarylife.com/2009/avoiding-sugar-during-the-holidays/

25 Essential Oil Rollerball Blends and Recipes for Families, Blog: Redefined Mom http://redefinedmom.com/essential-oil-rollerball-blends-recipes-for-families/

Thriving During the Holidays, LSA Pinterest board,   https://www.pinterest.com/lidkeas/thriving-during-the-holiday-season/

6 Essential Tips for Surviving the Holidays, Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-tsilimparis/6-essential-tips-for-surv_b_6116234.html

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27 Nov

Owning it: Take charge of your own feelings

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It is always interesting when I hear someone tell me about a colleague, friend or family member that “makes” them angry.  As cliche as it does sound no one else can be responsible for how we feel.  It is a difficult life lesson but by owning our feelings we can find more peace and calm in our lives.

…our beliefs and expectations about a person or event or situation directly influence, and many would argue, cause our feelings.  They are not the result of or inherent in of the situation itself.  Others do not cause our feelings- we cause them ourselves  –

Michael Edelstein, Three Minute Therapy

Taking responsibility or owning our feelings although difficult can free us from our self imposed mental constraints.   In 5 Strategies For Ending the Blame Game and Taking Responsibility, tip number one suggests creating an intention.  Declare to yourself that you will accept responsibility for your overall wellbeing both emotional and physical.  Start you day with intent and purpose and with each passing day you will believe in yourself more and more. You will build confidence in knowing what you are capable of doing.

Set clear boundaries.  This is a subject that cannot be talked about enough.  Boundaries that are set and defined by us can keep us safe.  Safe from saying yes to things we don’t want to do but also from owning someone else’s stuff.  Self responsibility means that we have to take care of what is bothering us but we are not in charge of what might be impacting someone else.  This is where the boundaries come into play.

Setting Emotional Boundaries: Stop Taking Other People’s Feelings.  The phone call from someone close to you that leaves you feeling sad or agitated.  That is an indication that we are taking on someone else’s feelings.  It can be easy to do when someone is feeling sad or depressed.  We want to listen, we want to help but we need to have boundaries that help ourselves.  In this article one of the examples used describes releasing the need to fix things for others.  That release happens when we give permission to ourselves to not take on more or take responsibility for others.

Emotions such as anger and frustration can be diminished in our lives if we hand back things that emotionally aren’t ours.  The argument between two friends that finds you in the middle or the sibling who wants someone else to fight their battle with mom.  So next time you are feeling upset, step back and ask what it is or who it is you are reacting to.

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30 Oct

Starbucks shows leadership in employee wellness!

Congratulations to Starbucks Canada for showing leadership in employee wellness!  Starbucks made the announcement during mental health awareness week.  Working at Starbucks just got better, they have increased their coverage for counselling and therapy .  The coverage for the services of social workers and psychologists has increased from $400 per year to $5,000.  Eligible employees (employed over 20 hours per week) and their families will have access to this coverage which will not require a doctor’s referral.

This is important news and acknowledgement that change in the area of employee wellness is needed. There is an increasing need for these supports to be available.  “20% of Canadians will personally experience a mental illness in their lifetime “according to stats from Canadian Mental Health Association.

The news this month was covered with interest by a number of publications such as The Globe and Mail whose article Why Starbucks Canada’s investment in mental health therapy matters, pointed out the significance.  People need help and our public system has limited resources for the volume it is seeing.  They have made the commitment to their employees and their families.  This benefit may seem large but health care analysis Mike Sullivan points out, it is likely to be used by a small portion of employees and will reduce productivity, disability claims, absenteeism and increase wellness and satisfaction.  This is really a win, win situation for both employer and employee.  They are reducing the stigma surrounding mental health and increasing the likelihood of earlier intervention.

As we see the see the millennials make up a larger part of the work force, holistic mental health is what they will be seeking.  It is inspiring to see corporations recognize this need and  take steps to support their employees in such a positive manner.  If you are not sure about your benefit coverage call your HR representative or benefit provider.  Many packages are now including coverage of an RSW or Registered Social Worker.

Employee Wellnes at Starbucks

12 Oct

Setting Compassionate Boundaries

brene-brown-quote-boundariesSetting compassionate boundaries is something we often help clients do in counselling sessions.  It is something that can sometimes seem uncomfortable and difficult.  In truth it is unfamiliar to many. There is almost a mindset that if you love someone that it just isn’t right to say no.

Boundaries are really about loving yourself and the people in your life. Brene Brown talks about boundaries as “what’s okay and what’s not okay” in her short clip Boundaries, Empathy and Compassion. She describes creating boundaries and becoming a more loving person.  If we are exhausted and harboring feelings of resentment, it is likely that we haven’t been setting boundaries.

In the Truth About Setting Boundaries and Compassion it is pointed out that “Defining Boundaries isn’t selfish, but necessary, in order to grow beyond ourselves.” So set them and keep them in a step towards healthy growth.

Set Limits

If you are tired but have been invited to do something, stop and think.  Do I want to go?  Am I doing it out of obligation?  Will it bring me joy?  Can I reschedule it to a time where I have more energy?  Can I just go for a short time?  Will it zap me of the little energy that I have left?

Use these questions, or any you have thought of yourself, to guide you in the decision making process.  We have all done something when we were feeling rundown and maybe even a bit irritable and generally the outcome is not positive.   If you enjoy spending time with someone but don’t feel up to a big group get together, say no.  No doesn’t have to mean you won’t do something with them, it means you love and respect yourself enough to be honest.  Ask them to do something just one on one.  Tell them that you enjoy their company and just want to hang out with them.

Don’t Waiver

Don’t let others make you feel bullied into saying yes.  Stand your ground and be true to yourself and others.  If you really don’t want to go to that concert or spend hours listening to a friend talk about their negative relationship patterns, then don’t.  You are helping them and are being kind to them by drawing a line.

Be Kind

Be honest to yourself about why you are setting the boundary, but also be kind.  Kindness is highly underrated but is something that brings us joy.

If you see someone struggling but you know your emotional resources are low and you haven’t got a lot to give, that is okay.  Just be kind, a small gesture means so much.  Send a text, buy them a latte, drop them a casserole and just let them know you are thinking about them.

Above all else, extend this kindness to yourself.  You need to be your own friend too.  Show yourself that you care.  Go for that walk, skip that dinner meeting, enjoy that long bath with a book.  Do these things knowing that you are being compassionate and that is all about love and compassion.

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26 Sep

Wanting to eat healthier? Try Meatless Mondays

People often talk about the desire to eat healthier as part of their goals.   With packed busy schedules, work and family commitments , it can seem a bit overwhelming.

It is really quite simple, start small.  An interesting idea is Meatless Monday.  It is a global movement that started in 2003. One day a week create meals that are meat free and vegetarian friendly.  This makes the goal so achievable and honestly it can be fun to find new things to try.

In the infographic the Top 5 Benefits of Going Meatless on Mondays it shows us that it can be worth it making a change.  Going meatless one day a week benefits not only us by reducing the health risks but the rest of the world by reducing our carbon footprint and saving gallons of water.

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Clean Eating

Clean Eating Magazine has a great website filled with options and also a Pinterest page so you can build a board with your own meatless Monday recipes.

Eating Well

Another great source for recipes is Eating Well. They host a variety of Meatless Monday recipes on their website.  The Sweet Potato and Warm Bean Salad looks like a delicious and satisfying fall meal.

Oh She Glows

Blogger and New York Times best selling author Angela Liddon shares plant based recipes on her blog.  Her recent cookbook Oh She Glows Everyday has recipes for everyday cooking.  If you are pressed for time like most of us there are plant based make ahead freezer meals for new parents.  You really don’t have to be new parent to enjoy these!

Now that you are filled with ideas and hungry for some fantastic food, we want to  help you get started.  We have created our own Meatless Monday Pinterest board with a few delicious looking recipes. So get chopping and have a  Happy Meatless Monday!

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04 Sep

Getting Unstuck

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With the change of the season many of us find ourselves a bit introspective and thinking about making a change ourselves. This week we want to look at getting unstuck.

At points in our lives most of us find ourselves feeling stuck.  In order to make changes we have to recognize that we’re stuck and decide to do something about it.  Being stuck can mean many things.  It can be a thought loop, a behaviour, a routine, a feeling but what’s clear is that you feel as though it just can’t change, you feel stuck.

Getting unstuck means making a change but sometime it is easier to ignore what isn’t working in our lives, but then we remain stuck.  In 7 Ways to Get Unstuck the author points out, we might have to take a risk. Taking life to the next level doesn’t happen without at least a little risk.  Look before you leap and examine what isn’t feeling right in your life and how you might feel if that changed.

An Internet search suggests that this problem isn’t uncommon.  There is actually a website dedicated to Unstuck Life Courses.  To get started we identify the barrier or quite simply ask the question What is stopping you? It is easy to be complacent because honestly, change is hard.  Who really wants to do something hard when life feels exhausting already.

Be clear in what you are looking for in this change and think about the benefits.  What positive payoffs are there for getting unstuck?

Talk to people in your life that have made a change.  People love to talk about their achievements, just ask them.  Although every situation is different the commonality is positive change.  Knowing that someone else was able to get unstuck can be quite inspiring. Take some time to inspire yourself.  Change your environment with a new plant or do something that makes you smile.  Small changes mean you are on the road to bigger changes.

Make a plan.  How are you going to get there?  Be concrete but leave room for revisions because sometimes the plan requires a bit of tweaking when life gets in the way.  Be kind to yourself and focus on the end game.  You are going to feel happier and more fulfilled when you become unstuck. Be realistic blogger Kristy Campbell points out in Getting Unstuck .

So get started and do something for you. Today take 5 minutes to view this motivational video by Iyanla Vanzant on How To Get Unstuck and you will be grateful you did.

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